Alright, here's the deal. I'm on a few Friends' lists, which would be nice if I liked to post on LJ. But, I don't. So you guys don't get to hear from me.
He's used the power of his paid Li
veJournal account to syndicate my regular blog. What that means is that you guys need to add etrevino_blog
to your flist. Now, remember, if you guys comment on LJ, I won't be able to read it. If you click on the link underneath the title, it'll bring you to my page, where you can
comment if you choose.
Wed, Feb. 23rd, 2005, 06:57 pm
23 Feb 2005 06:39 pm
High School High
I've been thinking about the misadventures I've experienced as a former
teacher. And it dawned on me that while there were a lot of funny
stories to turn into cute little comics, I don't have any from my kids'
points of view. So this is your chance. I want to learn about funny
little stories that you guys had that you wouldn't mind being turned
into an amusing little comic.
I don't know if I'll be writing a comic about it, but we'll see. It
could be cute.
I ask you guys to comment at my main blog here
because I only keep this one to keep up on y'all.
1) Walking up to her with sweat on your upper lip, blurting out, “Ohmygodwillyoubemygirlfriend?”, running away and hiding under the bleachers does not endear yourself to her.
2) She does not dance.
3) She will never ever make the first move.
4) Jillian never loses interest. Rather, she forgets that she was interested. She needs to be constantly tended.
5) Ms. Sutera is not a subtle woman. If you’re trying to intimate something, forget it. Just go ahead and say what you’re thinking.
6) Jillian will not tell you what she’s thinking.
7) She is absolutely terrified of the phone. That, combined with rule #3
means that she must be completely drunk to strike up a conversation with you.
8) Jillian does not drink.
9) Ms. Sutera is easily bored. Not by you, but by her life away from the computer. Take the time to come up with new and interesting things to do with her.
10) Dating must occur in carefully designed stages. While you should not take the magic out of the event, be sure to make clear where you are in the relationship. After a few dates, then you may attempt rule #1
. After that, you should make it clear where you next think the relationship will go.
11) In spite of rule #4
, Jillian values her independence and expects you to value yours. Calling on the phone or otherwise IMing her is acceptable. Smothering her is not.
12) Do not expect her to make contact. After all, she doesn’t do phones.
13) She nitpicks about things because she’s afraid of committing.
14) She likes her pretty.
15) Hurt her and I break you.
I was going to make a post discussing how Jesus would choose to return to Earth in Texas. It's clearly the best of all states just as Rome was the best of all Empires.
Then I got to thinking, this is probably in really bad taste. I mean, I do believe in Jesus, and I truly don't believe that were He to return in my lifetime, He would choose a state or a country based on the same criteria I do (read: coolness). There's a lot of good that needs to be done in this world, and Texas is probably already good enough.
It would be cool, though, if He did return there. I mean, the irony just writes itself. He could return in Palestine, Texas. He could send his disciples to Rome, Texas.
You know, I even made a cool logo, with a cross superimposed over the state of Texas.
Sometimes you ruin all of my fun, faith!
Wherein we examine their chins, their noses, their boobs, and their ankles.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the glorious Simpson girls for a long time. Part of it is the fact that my wife and I have a fascination for Newlyweds. I sympathize with Nick Lachey, in large part because he lives the role of every man as he tries to navigate the myriad corners of his wife’s mind. Somehow, he appears happy, even as he gets less sex than he planned and far less than he could obtain on the open market. He truly is a married man.
Ashlee burst onto the scene through the gaping hole left by sister Jessica’s prompt breasts. Ashlee’s album is a study in anguish as she rebels against the obvious: her sister is better than her in so many ways. Jessica has larger breasts, a smaller nose, and thinner ankles than our girl Ashlee. To boot, Jessica has the advantage of a singing voice, a nice ass, and a real name. All that Ashlee can claim is a better chin. And by better chin, I mean one that looks slightly more like John Travolta’s jowl than Matt Damon’s ass.
And yet, Ashlee has an appeal all her own? What is it?
Could it be Ashlee’s ongoing revolt against her father, who still likes to talk about sister Jessica’s amazing floppy breasts?* Is it perhaps her almost punk singing style? Perhaps it’s the knowledge that while they may be smaller, Ashlee’s chest is surely perkier, and certainly nothing to sneeze at.
Her legs aren’t spectacular, but they have a curvy appeal. When one looks at Ashlee, one imagines a girl who rides motorcycles into bedrooms. While the essence of good legs are one part thigh, high calves, and thin ankles, Ashlee breaks the mold by presenting us with legs that are simply proportionate to the rest of the parts, and yet, are still damn sexy.**
Ashlee’s nose is probably her most obvious feature and in spite of her attempts to minimize it, one cannot escape her distinct avian visage. Without that nose, I think we would all be far more willing to discard Ashlee. Her nose makes her unique. All of her other features can be overlooked. With less than desirable legs, a bust that’s not all we wish it was, she can still be sexy. Take a look at Britney Spears, she’s short and thick, and we all still think she’s sexy. But Britney Spears is decidedly common, if sexy in a Louisiana bayou sort of way. Ashless Simpson is anything but common. And for that we have the nose to thank.
Ashlee Simpson, thy glory is thy nose.
*No really, he does. He’s a freak, man.
**A friend of mine once pointed her brunette pal’s tiny little ankles. Little ankles bring legs together in ways one cannot imagine. Ever since then, the brunette has been a secret source of observation as I peer at her ankles and shake my head at those perfect legs.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Mr. Man (two people independently named me that. One was my wife)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Winning way with people who like me
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Inability to shut up
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment)):
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
"Picture Book" by The Kinks
The Theme from Shaft
Anything by the Smashing Pumpkins
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
Drawing a webcomic
Selling a story
Publish an article
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
I have it all. It's pretty good.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
I don't like Carson Daly.
I don't want to make movies ever again.
One of the women who called Mr. Man called me that for my . . . nevermind.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
. . . only three?
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
Finish a software project.
Build a professional website.
Buy a monkey.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
Being a pain in the ass
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Eat a cookie
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
I'm locked into Historian, I think.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
THREE KID'S NAMES:
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Publish a book
Send my children to a good school
THREE PEOPLE WHO NOW HAVE TO DO THIS. OR ELSE.
Sat, Dec. 25th, 2004, 10:22 am
Pictures of snowy winter Texas land! Check out the site in the post below.
It's snowing in Corpus Christi! That hasn't happened since, maybe, 1960. So, it's pretty amazing. Wow. I love it.
This one is for you, ConfectionRin. It's just great
The last snowfall in Corpus Christi of any note was in 1926